Depending on the circumstance, sometimes God will use different means to get your attention. Looking back on the month before my rebirth in Christ which was 8 years ago this month, I recall several things.
A person who I had thought was a friend in my life, did some horrendous things to me, lied terribly to me, said some terrible things which hurt me. I was still very much blind in Roman Catholicism, and my demeanor at this time was not to forgive, but hurt her in return. I wrote about this event in my book “The Roman Catholic Problem”, but everything in our relationship came to a head.
I lashed out in furious anger as to how I was treated not only in that past month, but for many many months by her and her family. I unleashed such a fury of profanity laced ranting, I surprised myself how much anger and rage that was stored up. Enough was enough, and I let it be known I was tired of being walked over and treated like an un-cared for animal or a doormat she could just walk over and toss out with trash. But I did so in an unkind hurtful way, and it reflected MORE to who I was than who she was.
But as I look back, I see it as the lowest point of my former life. The anger and rage at this level was something I never seen before and saw what I was capable of which was not a proud moment, but an embarrassing and regretful moment. I had hurt my friend as I set out to do, but there was much regret. I didn’t feel better, I felt worse.
God was getting my attention to His own fury and rage over my sins, ALL those disgusting sins stored up and burning against His holiness. When I look back at the betrayals against Him, I can only imagine His fury and rage towards me. The rage I displayed was not even close to a scale of what His rage was towards me. The vile and disgusting life I was leading, the vain religious idolatry I was practicing, all flew in His face not for a month, but for decades!
In early December of 2010, this same friend who I was hardly getting along with, who I despised and could care not a thing for me, was the person who took time to read the Gospel of Mark out loud to me. It was then my eyes were opened by God.
The point is, sometimes what we expect and what God’s workings are, are not even close. My rebirth happened at a time one would never expect and the word delivered to me by the LAST person I would of expected. He did this so He could be glorified alone! Yes, there would be no grand lovely story I could boast in about myself, my determination, my self-generating anything, it would be ALL to His glory and He made sure of it. There would be NO boasting my salvation, not a single iota. The perfection of God’s will is so amazing!
I take pause when I hear someone’s story, I look for God’s hand in it. If I hear boasting, more than likely it was the sinner’s intent, not God’s. There has to be a breaking point of your old life of sin and a new life in Christ. There is not some back and forth negotiation, God is sovereign, it is by His way, His will, or not at all.
I am not saying everyone’s salvation story must mirror mine. What I am saying is not to pin terms on God on the HOW, the WHY, and the REASON. If He is your Savior, it will be His doing, not yours, His timing, not yours, His expectation, not yours. And in the end you will see His GLORIOUS work!! I had to look back to see this, but there it was! How great our God is, and I praise the name of Jesus Christ for His work in my life and the lives of all His children!