I am sorry if it seems like I am lamenting about my recent loss of my beloved Leo, but I would like to relate somethings while the thoughts are coming. And it is sort of a therapeutic remedy for me as well in this time of extreme grief and mourning.
I said this about Leo in a couple of my books and earlier posts, but God will use anything of His disposal to impact our lives, to change the direction we are going into a new one. Don’t always expect it to be another human being, or someone you might be expecting as the impact. It can come in ANY form God so chooses.
In my case it was Leo. He was the impact God chose for me. At the time Leo came along, I was about a year into my rebirth. My former life was still entangling me and the impact God used was Leo to release me fully from those entanglements.
In April of 2012, I was in the midst of a financial crisis from my former life, job problems, relationship problems, and also problems with the church I had joined. This church coldly and cruelly cut ties with me based on the slander of their “music minister” who basically scammed money from me for years. They sided with her maligned and false version of the story and I was left without a church. Being a young Christian, this was a distressing time. I was meandering in wrong directions, trusting the wrong people, and was becoming more angry each day.
Then on one cloudy, rainy Sunday, it was put in my heart and in my mind that I should find a dog. I decided to call a breeder of Gordon Setters, and it just so happened I called at the right time. The breeder said “I can’t believe you just called, I have a litter I didn’t expect to be born this Wednesday, so if you send me a $100 I will hold one for you”. Now to see God’s hand in this? First of all I didn’t expect anything to be available. Usually there is a 1-2 year waiting list for this breed. My finances were shaky as well, but I did have the $100 to send so I did.
At that point looking back, God impacted my life, He changed my direction and released the entanglement of my former life. What God showed me through Leo is that although I never experienced the true love and devotion and care from another human being, He would show me that this actually is a true reality. Because Leo was the opposite of about every human relationship I ever had.
Now at the time, I was a very impatient person. God knows this. So what He did was send me Leo who would teach me that there need be no anxiety or worry, so there was no need to be impatient with him. He simply was naturally obedient from his 8 week mark when I picked him up. It was as if this dog knew me inside and out, again this was God’s doing. As I look back, it was a tremendous impact!
The other impact God showed me through Leo was what I never knew I was capable of. Leo had health issues here and there which required my ultra attention. But then in the Fall of 2019, the news came and Leo was given a death sentence. The care and extra attention God was preparing me for with his previous health issues were all going to be amp’d up. I never cared this way before! Leo required syringe feeding, and extra attention to keep him alive. I also abandoned my life through the holidays and carted him out of state where he could receive life saving measures quickly. This is something in my former life I would NEVER had done! Again, God’s impact.
On Leo’s last day, I cried incessantly just realizing this tremendous impact God blessed me with. God used Leo to turn me into a better person for Him.
So don’t always expect the impacts always to come from other human beings, God will use anything He will to make a needed change.